Marriage – In the beginning…

To understand the covenant of marriage, we have to go back to the beginning, to Genesis. I believe the prevailing viewpoint of believers is that God first created man (the male) and latter created woman as a separate event. This view has diminished the value God places on His daughters over the millennia.

Man was created in the image of God, as male and female. When Adam was created, everything female shared the same body. There are two accounts of Eve when she was presented to Adam; God’s account and Adam’s account.

For it is the life of all flesh; the blood of it is for the life thereof: therefore I said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall eat the blood of no manner of flesh: for the life of all flesh is the blood thereof: whosoever eateth it shall be cut off.  (Lev 17:14 KJV)

God referenced the rib as what He formed Eve from. The ribs are the main source of blood in man’s body. This is to indicate that woman takes her life from man. Adam’s response was more like; WOW! Adam saw all the parts of Eve’s body that had previously been part of himself. She shall be called Woman (maybe he tried to say WOW man!), for she was taken from within man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  (Gen 2:23-24 KJV)

Every other creature was created as either a male or a female; they mate only to produce offspring. Man was different, both shared one body and their union was through covenant. The union of a man and his wife is first a relationship event, and offspring happen because of that union, but childbearing lasts only for a season.

A woman being taken from within a man, had security from that relationship. A woman is drawn to that which she had in the beginning. A man sees a woman and is strongly drawn to that which is missing from within him. Both have a strong need of the other, but for different reasons.

In what ways does man express the image of God? One way is as male and female; both are part of God’s nature. Holy Spirit is the feminine nature of God and both Father and Jesus protect Holy Spirit. We are warned not to offend Holy Spirit, whereby we are sealed for eternity. If we do, there is no forgiveness in this life or the next. God gave man this same sense of protection toward our wives.

The only person that God allows us intimate relationship with, is our spouse. Unfortunately, a number of Christian books on marriage indicates that a wife's purpose is mainly to accommodate her husbands’ desires for physical intimacy. This leaves her feeling used and unimportant. Even viewing God as having created her inferior to men. This is a lie from satan! Satan is a liar, thief, and murderer (see John 10:10a). God expects our attitude as husbands, be like His attitude toward Holy Spirit.

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.  (1Pe 3:6-7 KJV)

Sara was not afraid of Abraham and she honored him; even calling him lord. As husbands, we are instructed to love our wives as Jesus does His bride, even laying down His life for us. God hates divorce, He hates the laying aside of our covenant with our wife. In Malachi, He states that the woman was created with a remnant of Holy Spirit (Ruach).

Secondly, you do this: Tears cover the altar of Adonai—you are weeping and groaning because He no longer accepts the offering or receives it favorably from your hand.  Yet you say, “Why?” Because Adonai bears witness between you and the wife of your youth, whom you have treated deceitfully. Yet she had been your companion and your wife by covenant.  Did the One not make her with a remnant of Ruach? Then what is the One seeking? Offspring of God! So protect your spirit—do not betray the wife of your youth.  “For I hate divorce,”—says Adonai the God of Israel—“and the one who covers his garment with injustice,” says Adonai-Tzva’ot. So protect your spirit—do not act treacherously.  (Mal 2:13-16 TLV)

If a husband does not honor his wife as a co-heir of the grace of life, then his prayers are hindered. Especially our wife’s physical intimacy is to be esteemed above our own. She was taken from within us; she needs to feel secure and loved by us. (See recommended resources below).

Our attitude matters. Hebrews 4: 11-13 tells us that God knows not only our thoughts, but also the intentions of our heart. We are totally exposed in the site of our Lord; nothing is hidden from His site. He is part of the covenant relationship we have with our spouse.

Resources: I recommend Dr. Wheat's book, it will help husbands to understand their wives needs and help wives understand their value in God’s eyes.

• Intended for Pleasure by Dr. and Mrs. Gaye Wheat

  
  

Dr. Wheat was a medical doctor who did marriage counseling from a Christian perspective. I read this book in my late sixties and had to apologize to my wife for my lack of understanding her needs. If you are just getting engaged or have been married for decades, I highly recommend this book.

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